You sleep with every single man that comes your way. You can't even remember your total body count i.e the total number of men you've slept with 'premaritally'.
These men you sleep with will never marry you. Never. Even if one of such men eventually marries you, he may have done so out of his own selfish innate interest that he will never declare to you and it most likely will not end well. So why must you keep hurting yourself?
And if you even marry that same man. He knows you believe in and practice sex outside marriage. The next you have in that your marriage is battle after battle. Distrust between you two.
Let me add this, thinking you can change a man after marriage is a naked lie. No adult changes suddenly just like that. Marriage is a great magnifier. What you see is what you get.
You directly or indirectly neglected the good brother for the bad brother because he has money. Pretending not to see the bad side of him, the womanizing part of him, the cheating part of him, the wicked part of him, the abusive part of him and the negative part of him.
You're only forcing your head into a tight cap that may never be the right fitting for you.
Seeing a married man in the darkest hour of the night is a total waste of time and body. He tells you how he's been frustrated by his wife just to get you on his bed. Every married man would say the same to get your charming body out of track.
He will tell you:
"My wife is very dirty. She can wear one pant for one good week."
"She snores when sleeping. Sounding like that of an ignited generator".
"She doesn't even know how to cook. If you even tell her to boil water, it will definitely get burnt".
"She is not beautiful like you".
Listen, it has been their usual line.
He tells you all these yet he can't leave his wife for you. Infact you may be surprised to find out that his dear wife is very much aware of you and your illicit relationship with her philandering husband, or she may have even given her husband the go ahead to go outside based on one or two well discussed reasons you will never find out.
You're just his little dirty secret. He can't pick your calls at night because you're nothing more than his sex machine. That's why no serious and well respected person in his life and circle will get to meet you and recognize you except they are birds of the same feather. You are not even the only one he sleeps with...
Darling, so where is your self esteem? Just where 🤷