As a woman, here are some of the insults you accept as compliments.
True compliments recognizes you as a full human being, capable, thoughtful, intelligent, and self-aware, without reducing your value to how well you fit into some marriage role!
1. You're Beauty with brains.
Never allow a man say this statement to you without countering it or rejecting it
This statement is born out of the twisted assumption that women can not be both beautiful and brainy. And so a woman who’s both beautiful and brainy is an exception.
No woman should be termed ugly. Every women is beautiful, so using beauty with brains is an insult to all women!
Don’t accept this!
2. “Na man you be”.
This is an insult to women’s strength, resilience and tenacity. This is a back-handed compliment geared at undermining the value of a woman and equates a woman’s strength and achievements to just men.
It implies that strength, leadership, intelligence, or resilience belong to men, and that a woman displaying these traits has stepped out of her “natural” role. It shouldn’t be accepted because a woman does not need to be compared to a man to be worthy.
Strength is not male. Courage is not male. Competence is not male.
Women! You’re enough being a woman.
3 You think like a man.
They say this to praise logic, strategy, or emotional control and It suggests women are naturally irrational, emotional, or incapable of deep thinking, and that good thinking is male territory.
Women don’t “think like men.” Women think like women, and thinking well is a human trait, not a gendered one. Men don’t think better because they have a penis. As a matter of fact, some of them use their penis to think sef.
4. “You are not like other women”
People say this to single you out as “special” or “different.”
It insults women as a group and uses you as an exception to justify disrespect for others.
If respect for you depends on distancing yourself from other women, it’s not respect, it’s conditional approval.
5. “You’re doing well for yourself as a woman”
To acknowledge success in work, leadership, or finances.
It sets lower expectations for women, implying that competence is surprising when it comes from a woman.
Success doesn’t have a gender qualifier. You’re doing well, full stop. You don’t have to add the “gender” bit.
6. “If you were a man, you would go far”
People say this to praise ambition or drive.
It admits that society actively blocks women, then normalizes that injustice for women instead of challenging it.
A woman should not have to imagine being a man to reach her potential.
The system, not the woman, is the problem.
I hope you don’t accept such insults as compliments.
7. “You have sense, not like these other women”
People say this to praise intelligence or discernment.
It reinforces the stereotype that women as a group lack wisdom or judgment.
Intelligence is not rare among women.
What’s rare is a society willing to acknowledge it. Society and culture as reduced women to dickheads, one who needs a man to make decisions with her.
8. “Your husband is a lucky man, you’re not troublesome😒”
People say this to praise obedience, silence, or tolerance. To celebrate a woman’s subservience.
It equates being a good woman with enduring disrespect quietly.
Peace is not the absence of a woman’s voice.
A woman who speaks up is not troublesome, she is self-aware.
9. “You behave like a man in your marriage”
To describe financial contribution, leadership, or decision-making.
It very insulting because it suggests that responsibility belongs to men, and a woman taking responsibility is abnormal.
Marriage is partnership, not gender performance.
10. “You’re a wife material”: This is often presented as a compliment, but in reality it is one of the most subtle condescending ways society reduces a woman’s value.
While it appears to praise qualities like kindness, patience, and domestic ability, it ultimately frames a woman’s worth around how suitable she is for marriage and for a man’s comfort.
It suggests that her highest achievement is being chosen as a wife, rather than being seen as a whole person with independent dreams, ambitions, and identity beyond marriage.
The phrase also quietly celebrates sacrifice over fulfillment. In many cases, being called “wife material” means being able to endure, manage emotional labor, tolerate disrespect, and carry responsibility without complaint.
It praises survival rather than joy, and resilience rather than happiness. Instead of honoring a woman’s growth or wellbeing, it applauds her capacity to absorb pressure and remain agreeable.
Another issue I’ve with the phrase is the imbalance it reveals. Men are rarely described as “husband material” in the same way; they are praised for ambition, leadership, and provision, while women are praised for service, submission, and emotional availability.
This reinforces the expectation that women must shrink themselves to fit into marriage, while men are encouraged to expand and be centered.
Calling a woman “wife material” also assigns expectations without her consent. It silently places domestic, emotional, and moral responsibilities on her, assuming she desires or exists for that role. It pressures women to perform goodness, silence, and agreeableness, because stepping outside those boundaries risks being labeled as difficult or “not wife material.”
Ultimately, as a woman, you’re not material to be shaped for marriage. You’re not a project awaiting approval or a ring to validate your existence.
You can still desire marriage and still reject being defined by it.
True compliments recognizes you as a full human being, capable, thoughtful, intelligent, and self-aware, without reducing your value to how well you fit into some marriage role!
See! Many Nigerian “compliments” toward women are actually male-centered, conditioned on silence or endurance, rooted in limiting beliefs about womanhood.
They praise women only when they abandon or outperform their gender, instead of honoring womanhood itself.
Selah!
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